In society we can always hear how people make a quick judge on someone with a single word - ‘good’ or ‘bad’. We earn a good status to someone by being with them, and we earn a bad status by being against them. We all grew up with this simple system since our childhood, from family, school, to working life. In order to survive, and fulfill our self esteem, we try our best not to be branded as a bad one from the place we are in.
While it is normal to try and stay true to ourselves, the decision is much harder when it comes to something we care about. We start developing fear of damaging the relationship of the people who matter to us, like family, friend, or lover. The thought of suffering the consequence from what we have chosen scares us from being bad, to be seen as a disappointment. For this reason, many reluctantly deny their freedom of choice, to save what is valuable to their live.
This create what I see as a ‘Good boy’. A human who grew up struggling to be honest to themselves. They cannot overcome the fear of having bad relationship, and instead choose to be a selfless good guy in the eye of someone they care. Their self-awareness also making them constantly fight their own desire, refuse to manipulate the thought of other people, and being forced to live with their own conflict inside. Ultimately, they become unwilling to either give, or take, creating scars on their self consciousness, regardless of choice they made.
Even if they can finally conquer their burden of choice, and fully become what they truly are, it will still come at a heavy price. The question still remains, Did we do the right thing? What if we have chosen the other way? Will the alternate path be better than what we have permanently chosen? Or we will regret it no matter what we do in the end? In order to find the answer, we have to keep on living. But it might be hard to do so in a chaotic nature of this modern world. I want my art to ask viewer these type of questions. And hopefully, one might find the fragment of answer in their own light.